Silence

Silence is a new thing for me. I am now living solo as of this morning, and I already feel the loneliness setting in. I dont hear Stacy shuffling around in her room, Drea watching Smallville, or Ashley bursting in the door with new gossip. Instead all I hear is my typing, a few annoying birds outside my window, and the occasional creapy noise from within the apartment.

After my last two Highland amigos departed today I decided to protest against my previous requirements for the day and to pursue a more lazy lifestyle for the time being. I already know this is a bad decision. I have so much to do- SO MUCH. The reason for this, as stated in my previous blog, is that my new life is here. When this reality first showed itself it came to me like a hard smack in the face, and I was not prepared. Now it's as if I went back into denial mode to try to reverse this real world sickness.

So what did I do today? Well, instead of researching for my new camera that I attempt to purchase this weekend, or do some more job hunting, I decided to just pause life. To forget about it all and get lost in Smallville. (A show that is starting to get the best of me since I can't stop thinking about different superpowers I wish to possess). After a few episodes I thought a nice hot shower would be nice. The result: I spent an hour lying on the bathtub floor letting the water hit me and reflecting on this past month. I feel as though this is going to be a regular routine for me. Which is certainly frightening. I seriously need to get my act together..Maybe it is this silence that screws me up. Maybe when I had my roommates around who have all their shit together and know where they are going and what they need to do to get there I felt more motivated to do the same. Now I just have me. I procrastinate, I am lazy and I am broke. Sweet. If this is how my summer has started, I am very curious with myself to see how I can pull myself together and what the rest of this summer will bring.